Navigating divorce with your children. When you and our spouse decide to divorce, it can be difficult to figure out how to co-parent your children. With two separate households come two separate sets of rules, which can confuse kids — especially if they’re already having a tough time dealing with the divorce itself.
Discussing the sober truth of alcohol, recovery, and aftercare monitoring
My brother came home from a 12-month stay in rehab. My confidant, my jokester, my BFF is back! His year in rehab seems to have passed in the blink of an eye, but in the moment it seemed like every minute without his free spirit in our home took a lifetime to pass. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed my anxiety has doubled, no, scratch that, it’s tripled without him. His year away brought me to tears because I missed sharing jokes and experiences with him. But at least I knew he was safe. He was free from the temptation of the bottle. Now, he’s home and the tears come to my eyes for a different reason: fear and uncertainty.
I often wonder how I was so blind to the fact that I was an alcoholic. Looking back, all of the signs were there. My life was out of control; once I had my first drink of the day, I had little-to-no control over the amount I drank. All bets were off. And when I truly wanted to stop drinking, I couldn’t. The tricky part there is that I thought I had a choice in it all. I thought I was drinking because I wanted to.
Finding balance can be difficult for anybody. But establishing balance in recovery is even more difficult because you lacked balance for so long while in the throes of your addiction. A common emotion after recovery is to feel a void where the alcohol used to be. You have newfound time new hobbies can be exciting. But the key to lasting recovery is balance. As the adult child of two alcoholic parents, I’ve watched my dad go from one extreme to the next and finally find that equilibrium.
Throughout high school and college, I was the girl who always had a serious boyfriend. I’ve been in love two times in my life. Actually, that’s a lie…three times. But only two of those were with men…the other was with alcohol. I was introduced to alcohol years before things got serious between us. There was an instant attraction once we met…
A new friend has just invited my family to an event where drinking will be the main activity. Here we go again. Do I respond with: 1. “My parents don’t drink,” 2. “My parents are recovering alcoholics,” 3. Pretend I didn’t hear them and hope they get distracted.
A little over three years ago I found myself checking into a 28-day treatment facility for alcoholism, a couple hours away from my hometown in North Carolina. I called and had three days to get ready, until a bed was going to be available for me. The preparation was reminiscent of getting ready for summer camp when I was a little girl. My mom and I went to Wal-Mart with a checklist of approved and non-approved items, and filled our cart with the approved necessities.
It was a humbling experience—the first of many to come.
I had no idea what rehab was about, or what they did, or how they got people to stay sober. I just knew I needed help. I had proven to myself that I couldn’t do it own my own. I had tried many times unsuccessfully and was baffled as to why I couldn’t just stop. I had finally reached a point where I was willing to try; I would do anything they asked of me if I could just not want to take a drink. I remember thinking that it would be a miracle if my desire and obsession to drink could be removed. It seemed impossible.
You’re an author. No, really. You are! Every day you’re writing the story of your life. And it’s just like a book. Think of it this way: When you pick up a book, the only things you know for certain is that there is a beginning and an end. In between those two fixed points are chapters, and each chapter contributes to the book’s plot. While no two books are exactly the same, there are usually similarities in structure, setting, or story.
My name is Mimi Jones and I am the adult child of alcoholic parents. In my life, “keeping up with the Jones’,” means something entirely different. From the outside, it would seem that I had an idyllic childhood. I grew up in a middle-class family in Southern California. My parents both worked hard to provide us with opportunities to travel, experience the arts, and attend private schools.
I’m sure you’ve heard, over and over, that addiction is selfish. Well I’ve got news for you: so is recovery. In fact, recovery is the most selfish thing you can be involved in other than an addiction. But there’s a big difference. You’re not lacking consideration for others in recovery like you were in addiction. And since one of the goals in recovery is to improve yourself, you will simultaneously improve your relationships with others.