Soberlink Blog

Discussing the sober truth of alcohol, recovery, and aftercare monitoring

Pregnancy Catalyzes Sobriety

Though the recovery community is vast, we are all loosely connected by the journey and the common desire for a better life.

But all of our stories are unique and everyone comes to this place via a different path. If you ask a group of people in recovery what made them stop drinking and seek sobriety, the most common answer will be some sort of stressful event.

That stressful event or events that spur sobriety can be either positive or negative, eustress or distress respectively. Perhaps some of the most impactful distress is the death of a loved one or friend from alcoholism or an alcohol-related death. In these and other situations of distress a person may having a hard time staying on the recovery track because they haven’t spent adequate time building coping skills. Eustress is positive stress like a new job or getting married. Sure the situation may be demanding but the outcome is usually more exciting than it is distressing.

Arguably the most life-changing form of (hopefully) eustress is a pregnancy. It’s been said on countless occasions, and in several facets that becoming a mother or a father changes your life, and that change is irrevocable.

Alcohol Abuse in Custody Cases

Child custody can be a contentious issue even in the most amicable of divorces. The problem only worsens when alcohol abuse is involved. Specifically, it can be a point of contention in three different ways:

  • Both parents have alcohol problems and face losing custody altogether.
  • One parent accuses the other of having a drinking problem and requests sole custody.
  • A parent is suspected of drinking to excess during visitations with the child, whether it is a sole custody or shared situation.

    None of these issues are cut and dry because the following questions will come up:

    (1) Can you prove that the parent is, in fact, alcohol dependent?

    (2) Is one parent accusing the other without merit?

    (3) What effect does any drinking during visits have on the child’s well-being?

    Proving alcoholism in custody cases is relatively easy in certain situations– for example, if the parent has a recent history of alcohol-related arrests and/or they are attending a court-mandated treatment program. Some will also admit that they have a problem during court proceedings and enter treatment voluntarily. If neither of these things happens, most “evidence” will be based on hearsay. In the worst-case scenario, the child becomes the informant, “spying” on the accused parent and reporting back to the other — which can be severely damaging to all involved.

  • A Guide to Recognizing the Signs of Alcoholism

    Determining if someone is alcohol dependent, or what some would call an alcoholic, is not as simple as giving them a questionnaire, especially if you’re not trained on the subject. Some of the signs of alcoholism can be signs of other disorders as well, and they can appear differently in different people.

    The stereotype of the alcoholic is the drunk in a ditch at the side of the road sipping out of a paper bag, but there are very few alcoholics who fit that profile. Many alcoholics hold down jobs, some in very technical fields, and some are very adept at hiding their drinking from others. This makes it dangerous to assess other people, but it can be helpful to attempt to assess yourself.

    Warning Signs of Alcoholism

    There is a difference between being a full-fledged alcoholic and having a drinking problem. If your drinking has led to difficulties at work, at school, or in relationships, then you have a problem – even if you only drink rarely or socially. If you binge drink one or more nights a week, then your drinking falls under alcohol abuse, but you may or may not be drinking alcoholically. Alcoholism has three distinct characteristics: tolerance, withdrawal, and cravings. While all types of drinking affect the brain, alcoholics develop dependency.

    Telling Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced

    For a parent, it can be one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with your kids: telling them that you and their other parent are getting a divorce. This announcement can immediately set off a number of anxious feelings and questions from your child; they may be worried that they won’t ever see their other parent again, or that it was somehow their fault. There is no good time to break this news, but fortunately there are ways you can go about doing it with sensitivity, care, and positivity.