Family law professionals know that most divorce cases will not end in trial. Still, many matters become more complicated than they need to be. Emotions, uncertainty, and disorganized expectations often derail progress. Attorneys, mediators, and judges have a critical role in shaping the path forward both inside and outside the courtroom.
Early Resolution Programs and similar interventions give professionals more tools to manage complexity with skill and care. They help ensure that important issues are handled with attention to the facts and the family, not just the legal process.
Former Connecticut Superior Court Judge Thomas G. Moukawsher has spent nearly four decades in the legal system. He has served as a legislator, lawyer, lobbyist, and a judge focused on complex litigation. In his book, The Common Flaw: Needless Complexity in the Courts and 50 Ways to Reduce It, he challenges legal professionals to take a more direct, focused approach to resolving disputes.
“Very few divorces go to trial,” Moukawsher says. “Most cases are resolved by the many kinds of programs you can use to settle divorce issues early.”
These tools are not about avoiding litigation. They are about doing the job well by focusing on what matters, reducing unnecessary friction, and guiding clients toward sustainable outcomes.
Strong Preparation Starts with Realistic Expectations
Helping clients feel heard is essential. So is helping them see what’s truly at stake. Clients often enter the process with misinformation or assumptions shaped by media, family, or fear. Professionals can help stabilize these moments with clarity and empathy.
“The most important way to help clients prepare is to help them develop reasonable expectations,” Moukawsher says. “Divorce is an extremely emotional process for the parties. Many times they are enraged and feel wronged. They have seen media accounts suggesting one party can take the other ‘to the cleaners.’ Bring them down to earth.”
Without even a temporary parenting or housing plan in place, families often become locked in conflict over basic logistics. Attorneys and mediators who focus clients on immediate, practical decisions are more likely to see progress in both formal and informal resolution efforts.
Objective Tools Strengthen Professional Judgment
In high-conflict custody matters, accusations around alcohol use can stall resolution and deepen distrust. Allegations that remain unresolved, whether founded or not, undermine cooperation.
“In my experience, substance abuse is often at the heart of custody battles,” Moukawsher says. “When one party contends that their children are unsafe in the hands of the other party, it often causes both sides to dig in. Alcohol monitoring support often breaks this impasse.”
For cases that involve alcohol, monitoring tools like Soberlink provide attorneys and courts with a structured way to support clarity. Sobberlink’s technology, in particular, verifies identity through facial recognition, confirms test validity with tamper detection, and delivers results in real time. The data builds a record that either validates concern or confirms compliance.
“Managed correctly,” Moukawsher explains, “[alcohol monitoring] yields the truth. The person demanding it can have their fears allayed by creating a record of the problem they have pointed out. The person subject to the monitoring may be grateful for the chance to prove the allegations wrong.”
In many cases, Soberlink is used as a confidence-building measure during temporary agreements or active negotiations. In others, it becomes a long-term component of a parenting plan. Either way, the technology like Soberlink helps reduce conflict in and out of court by making expectations and behavior measurable.
Resolution Should Be a Goal, Not a Trap
While cooperation is often the preferred outcome, professionals should remain aware of when a resolution process no longer serves the client’s best interests. Moukawsher notes that mediation and negotiation can sometimes become overly drawn out, with no real benefit to either party.
“The biggest mistake I see is when the early resolution process swallows the whole case,” he says. “Early resolution should mean that it happens and ends early and satisfactorily resolves the disputes between the parties. But sometimes, the mediation never ends.”
When the likely legal outcome is straightforward, such as with child support calculations or standard asset division, trying to over-engineer a compromise can lead to frustration. A well-prepared legal team should be confident in deciding when resolution remains productive and when a decision from the court would offer more clarity.
“When a deal is forced on the parties, they will often doubt themselves endlessly and sometimes blame their lawyers and the mediator,” Moukawsher says. “I disagree with the old saying that when both parties walk away from a mediation unhappy with the settlement it means the result must be fair.”
Approach People, Not Just Process
Success in resolution isn’t just about understanding the law. It’s also about understanding personalities. Attorneys who approach negotiation with emotional intelligence are more effective at creating durable, professional outcomes.
“Learn as much about the parties, the mediator, and the other lawyers as you can,” Moukawsher advises. “Put yourselves in the shoes of your client’s opponent. What motivates them? What buttons should and shouldn’t be pushed?”
He encourages attorneys and mediators to think ahead. Is opposing counsel likely to anchor to an unrealistic position? Will the mediator take a neutral or evaluative stance? Who is likely to respond to pressure, and who may dig in further?
“If you have a real partner in settlement and a good referee in the middle, be sure you begin in the middle too,” he adds. “When you do, you will get to the end far quicker and far fairer.”
Professional Clarity Builds Better Outcomes
Clients and courts expect more than rote paperwork or checkbox compliance. They expect attorneys to bring structure to difficult circumstances. Early resolution programs, mediation, and other resources give professionals tools to do that work more clearly and effectively.
Soberlink supports this effort by helping attorneys resolve alcohol-related custody concerns with accuracy. The system replaces speculation with reliable data. It reinforces parenting agreements and keeps both parties accountable. For professionals, it is a practical way to reinforce truth, reduce conflict, and support client safety.
Book a Lunch & Learn
To see how Soberlink supports resolution in custody and family law cases, schedule a virtual Lunch & Learn with our team. We’ll walk you through the platform, show how it’s used in court and mediation settings, and answer questions specific to your jurisdiction or practice area.